You Know You Have a Dachshund When…

  1. You apologise for taking up too much space in the bed.
  2. You feed us first.
  3. You find yourself being drawn to all kinds of ‘cute’ accessories (for the love of God not more coats Mum!).
  4. You recognise our ‘busyness’ as being truly important work which must continue no matter what time or day (or night) it may be.
  5. You understand and adapt to our intrinsic need for digging.
  6. You appreciate the sooky in all its forms.
  7. Even if you don’t want to be sookied you will put up with it for the sake of your dachshund.
  8. You automatically try to fix our broken toys as you would with a child.
  9. You cannot resist our puppy-dog eyes and believe me, we know how to work it.
  10. You go all-out to make sure we are alone as little as possible.
  11. Should the above be unavoidable you substitute yourself with an Aunty Hec or similar.
  12. You find yourself reading to us aloud.
  13. You speak to us as you would a human.
  14. You take all admiring looks from other people in your stride (for us that is, not you).
  15. You understand it takes us time to decide whether we like a new treat or not and are happy to wait upon our decision.
  16. You strictly adhere to the routine set up by us for your own good.

You understand (Mum & Dad!) that this is a JOKE and in NO WAY resembles my relationship with YOU. No, it’s OTHER DACHSHUNDS I’m talking about. You know dachshunds in general – and you know Mum & Dad that cannot be me because I’m no general –I’m an admiral!

Till next time. Love & leggies, Nutty x


Admiral Nutty – I see no ships..


About nuttyboomboom

I am a miniature dachshund, I live with Mum & Dad in rural Ayrshire and have a variety of interests including - first and foremost - the sooky (at which I am a bit of an expert), guarding things, squeak toys and cushions. I have an opinion on just about everything and I am a founder member of the Canine Advanced Training Society (CATS) which is a voluntary organisation offering help and advice to other anipals who are demented by stubborn and ill-trained owners.

2 responses to “You Know You Have a Dachshund When…

  1. Aunty Hec

    Ah, that’s what I like to see, Mr Nutty elevated to the higher station in life that he deserves.
    So………………..arise Admiral Nutty, arise, damn you!!!!
    Note also that the Nutman NEVER speaks an untrue word.
    You can’t say that about humans!

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