Today’s pawblem comes from a feisty bulldog called Ping-Pong (yes that’s his real name) who believes his name loses him respect on the streets (and in the parks, gardens and beach too I shouldn’t wonder).
I am a mature English Bulldog who is blessed with a loving family and home. I am completely happy with my owner except for one thing – my name. I weigh 5-stone and am built like a small Sherman tank yet my impressive size and girth goes for nothing when my name is called:
‘Ping-Pong come on there’s a good boy’
‘Ping-Pong din-dins is ready’
‘Ping-Pong get the ball’
What a name for a noble dog to have to bear, even cats have a good snigger. Help me Nutty! I would like to be called Blue.
*sad, droopy slevery wee bulldog face*
Hearing you loud and clear Ping-Pong – or should I say Blue. This situation calls for immediate action. No longer should you respond to the name Ping-Pong. Even if you are being called for the yummiest NOM’s ever, turn your tail on them my friend whenever the incongruous moniker Ping-Pong is used. Now you may have to persevere with this for a while as humans are not always the sharpest puppy in the litter but if you are strong-willed (your breed is famous for it) you will win in the end.
In addition Ping – Blue, what you want to do is to guide your owner towards your preferred name of choice. Whenever you see something that is blue then bark wildly, wag your tail, do excited victory dances, slobber, sooky, lean – pull out your whole repertoire of tricks so that the human can make the connection.
To start off you can leap wildly into the air pointing a paw at a clear blue sky, on a walk by the shore extend a paw out to sea and whirl like a dervish, drag all blue clothes and slippers from wherever they are stored and pile in a tidy heap in front of your owner; however this is an advanced trick and should be undertaken by mature anipals only – puppies watch and learn.
By carrying out these measures P – Blue, you will soon be the proud owner of the new and manly name of your own choosing. In my experience any owner of average intelligence should cotton on by day 5 of the process.
Till next time. Love & leggies, Nutty x