I am Herman, an enthusiastic eighteen-month-old male Chihuahua with much love for my family and friends. However over the last few months I have been suffering from severe mood swings which really upset M&D and my friends are not too keen on this new behaviour either. Only yesterday I spotted Maisie the Poodle don a pair of dark glasses and quickly cross the road to avoid me and even hardy Ballet-Girl the Pitbull gives me a wide berth these days. Male anipals no longer hang around with me on park corners like they used to…what am I doing wrong? I think I am upsetting everyone so much without meaning to. It’s as if my actions are beyond my control. Please help Nutty. You are my last resort.
First of all don’t stress. What you are so delicately describing is a natural male condition which is easily fixed by – well by you getting fixed Herman. I am sure it is something M&D are seriously considering but maybe they are reluctant to put you through any trauma as they see it.
I will not lie to you Herman, the procedure does involve a trip to the vet and an operation – don’t worry you will be asleep the whole time. I know this because M&D had me fixed too when I was fighting like mad to take Dad’s place in the house. All that growling, barking, whining and mounting anything that moves (or doesn’t move) does get exhausting Herman – take it from one who knows. When you get fixed you will be able to relax into being Puppy-Boy again and enjoy your life.
If you are like me and an only dog then you will be able to bask once again in M&D’s love and complete adoration, taking your rightful place as the prince of the family. I am sure M&D are already thinking along the lines of having you fixed Herman so when that day comes (trust me, it will be soon), worry not dear friend. Embrace the process and return to your family fully restored with your own good nature back in place.
*manly paw shake*
Dog bless you little Herman.
Love & leggys, Nutty x