Anipals who regularly read my bloggy will know that I usually use impeccable English. You may therefore be forgiven for being innocent of the fact that dogs in general and dachshunds in particular and very bad spellers and in fact we have our own language developed in an effort to bridge the gap between human and dog talk. So far this seems to be working reasonably well (please see my Twitter account @Nutty_Boom_Boom for further examples of dachshund speak).
However since this blog is compiled of a series of Mum’s sayings I feel it is only right to set them down exactly as they came to my large floppy ears. If you find yourself struggling with the language please do persevere and it will become easier. If this is successful I may well write more bloggys in my own language thereby giving my secretary (er Mum) less translation work to do.
Here we go then:
Mum sez no peeps kan wook bootifool by waring cosmetics made from da pain and blood of anipals.
Mum sez ware doos TOAT in a koly kold weatha to stop dooselficcus detting a chill.
Mum sez always be niccicles to peeps coz doo mite be da onliest furson dey sees dat hole daze.
Mum sez be tolerant wif fings wot doo duzn’t likey (like TOATS and cats me finks) coz won daze doo mite needs deir help.
Mum sez all anipals is bornded ekwal and me finks she inkloods human beans in dis.
Mum sez doggices wespond to we’s environment an so if we is brot up bad den we behaves bad – just like children. Not dere folt – not we’s folt.
Mum sez no one wuvs me’s more than hers sept maybe’s DOG (me beweives her).
Mum sez if she has to leaf me’s at home alone it is only becoz she can’t take me wif her to a sertain place.
Mum sez she will always do her’s besticcles to involve me in evafing coz that is wot maykes me’s happy.
Mum sez me is her wee blessing.
Me sez Mum is myne.
Until next time.
Love & leggies, Nutty x
Me and me’s Mummicles