Nutty Poems

Hello anipals and poetry lovers everywhere. I would like to share with you a selection of my most considered pieces which I feel are particularly prevalent today. Thank DOG the world has the fine canine mind to help it stay on track.

As you all know, Mummy translates these bloggys from dachshund to human-speak as are many humans who also enjoy my blogs (thank you all!) but after lengthy discussion it was felt in this instance that the poems should remain exactly as they were written so that the depth of emotion they portray are not lost in translation.

Apologies therefore to those who are not dachshund speakers but please do try and persevere with the content. It does get easier as you go along.

Till next time,

Love & leggies, Nutty (Laureate) x

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(as you can see I like a bit of a read myself)

Ode to Daddicles

O deer dad

Doo is mad

But doo is not bard

An me neva kalls doo lard

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Ode to Mummy

O deer Mummicles

Me wuv doo hunnericcles

Doo always playz

And chayse da  bloos awayz

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Ode to Bwush

O deer Bwush

Doo bee always in a wush

Doo neva hush or blush

Wif doos brush bwush bwush

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Ode to Sossiges

O deer sossiges

Me wills take doo hostigges

And keep doo in me’s tummy

And shayre won wif me’s mummy

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Ode to Me’s Gurlfwend

O deer Candy

Cum to da beech all sandy

Twill bee just dandy

An me’s will holdy doos handy

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Sunny Daze

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Being a dog of both ancient German and more recently Scottish lineage it is no wonder I love the sun so much. There is nothing nicer than a fine summer morning when one can meditate on the natural ebb and flow of life or, in my case, laze around.

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Although I am a bit of a sun-worshipper my natural-born fur coat does tend to swelter a bit and my heart goes out to my Old English Sheepdog friends and all heavy coated anipals on days such as this.

But we in the UK know better than to make rash complaint against the summer sun and when it becomes too hot we find shady garden spots, nooks and crannies where we can lie undisturbed in happy canine contemplation.

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Needless to say this bloggy was pawed on a beautiful June afternoon but even if it is raining cats and dogs or blowing a monsoon as you read my words remember dear anipal and human friends nothing (not even the good stuff) is forever.

Till next time.

Love & leggies, Nutty x

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Welcome Rocco!

at spca Rocco when he was the tenant of C1 kennel

Today’s the day Rocco the Staffie went to his new home! My human sisfur Louise and her dog Miss Shiva were awake from 6am this morning such was the excitement in that house. I know this because Mum’s phone kept going off waking Dad and me up but although we grumbled a bit we didn’t mind really.


We knew how important today would be for Louise and Miss Shiva but most of all for Rocco. Going from a concrete-floored kennel with no one to love him to a comfortable home with a garden and country walks nearby would be all Rocco’s dreams come true so everyone was prepared for a little bit of mayhem because in a house with two Staffies and a visiting Dachshund there is bound to be a little bit of naughtiness. Rocco did not disappoint…

rocco profile Rocco’s handsome profile

… Louise went alone to collect Rocco because the previous visit to the kennels had upset Miss Shiva so much and when Rocco saw Louise he must have remembered her because he launched his full five-stone Staffie body of loveliness towards her nearly knocking her down!

Although he did allow himself to be harnessed in the back seat of the car Rocco had other ideas.  Louise was concentrating on driving home when she was surprised to find a furry paw reach through from the back and lie quietly on her arm. Next thing the agile Staffie had inveigled his way into the front seat where he sat nicely for the remainder of the journey like the well-mannered gentleman he obviously is.

Whilst there is no doubt the Staffies will take time getting to know one another and Rocco his new Mummy and home, I know they will have a whale of a time and a whole heap of fun (and high jinks no doubt) together.

in garden Rocco enjoying the grass while Miss Shiva looks on

I know for every Rocco there are so many other anipals not so lucky but if we all do what we can to raise awareness then these sad numbers will eventually be eliminated. In the meantime a feel-good story is always welcome and Rocco’s is the ultimate feel good story.

It only remains for me to say ‘Mum when can we visit?’

Till next time.

Love & leggies, Nutty x

Shive and Rocco Rocco and his new sisfur the beautiful Miss Shiva

Rocco da sook 2 Rocco – not slow to go in for the tummy rub

Rocco da sook The sooky merchant

Rocco in his new bed Been a BIG day – nighty night all xxx

Easy Like Sunday Pawning

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Typical Sunday morning in our house:

3:00am          

Too hot to sleep in M&D’s bed what with Dad’s night sweats actually but I suffer it as best I can.

4:00am

Wind myself around Dad’s neck whilst he sleeps (he finds it comforting as I am just like a furry scarf, ideal for warm summer nights).

5.00am

Dad wakes up and tries to sneak off to the bathroom but I spot him easily (everyone knows we dogs sleep with one eye open). Quick as a flash I am in his spot and rolling around in the warmest bits whilst at the same time sticking my houndy nose in Mum’s eye (which is thankfully closed).

7:00am

After 2-hours of gamely trying, Dad finally gives up on trying to sleep on the 2-inch space left to him on the edge of the bed and even though I obligingly move over to allow him an extra inch or so he just huffs and puffs and gets up. Mum snores on.

8:00am

Dad brings Mum a cup of tea. I get two puppy-sized biscuit bones and a tummy rub. Bliss.

9:00am

Mum decides its pee-pee time (sighs) so I have to get up too.

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9:15am

Operation pee-pee completed with a weather and perimeter inspection carried out too. All is in order so I tunnel my way through my blankys (have to use my own bed as M&D are up now).

10:00am

Stretch luxuriously under a small mountain of blankys. I listen to Dad mowing the lawn and Mum vacuuming around upstairs before I settle in for a bit more shut-eye. Well it’s what Sunday morning is all about isn’t it – a bit of relaxation after a hectic week.

Till next time.

 

Love & leggies, Nutty x

 

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There’s No Place Like Home

My Mum, my human sisfur Louise and her dog Miss Shiva went to the SPCA Rehoming Centre in Glasgow because it is time Miss Shiva had a friend as she gets very lonely when Louise goes to work.

Miss Shiva (who was born in a similar place) was very nervous as soon as we arrived and heard all the dogs barking in their little individual cells. To be truthful anipals, I didn’t quite know what to make of it since I have been with Mum and Dad since I was a puppy but I know many other dogs are not so lucky. I did my best to help Miss Shiva be calm and radiated all the pawsitive energies I could, the poor thing kept on spinning and spinning (she does this when she is agitated).

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Mum, Miss Shiva and me at the SPCA centre.

Then the lady brought a dog out. Full Staffy he is and strong as a small-sized horse. He is smaller than Miss Shiva as she is a Staffy/Lab mix. Mum and I stood off to one side so Louise and the SPCA lady could introduce the dogs. They had a bit of a sniffity-sniff and I could tell Miss Shiva was interested although she was still on edge. Then in a flash her sonic tail wag commenced and she was totally happy again. That is one of the very best things about being a dog: we can go from scared to happy in the time it takes to wag a tail.

Louise was stroking Mr Staffy and the lady said his  name was Chaos. I looked at Mum, she looked at Louise who looked at the lady who looked at the dog and although no one said anything we all knew what the others were thinking. This dog had to be the least chaotic dog ever. Playful, bouncy, funny, friendly and glad to get out of his kennel yes – chaotic never. Louise said she would change his name and I was glad about that.

As you all know anipals I am a very small guy so I was a bit nervous meeting Mr Staffy but I walked over wagging my tail and he came over for a sniffity-sniff with me. He was very gentle which made me think he understood about small dogs. Mum gave us all some sausages which are puppy sausages because I am only wee but the Staffies didn’t seem to mind and both Miss Shiva and Mr Staffy chomped them down looking for more.

We haven’t got a picture of Mr Staffy yet as the SPCA lady told Louise there is a home check to be done to make sure everything is in order. I was pleased to know they are careful about who rehomes a dog so even though we wanted to take him with us that day we knew it was for the best.

We think it will be 2 or 3 weeks until Mr Staffy – whose new name is Rocco – will move into his furever home with Louise and Miss Shiva (with frequent visits from me of course!)

The Deev

Miss Shiva looking particularly gorgeous

I cannot finish this bloggy without telling you that I press my paws together every night to pray to DOG for all those anipals in kennels across Scotland, across the UK and across the world. It was so sad to see that many of the dogs we saw were Staffies too; a more loyal breed you won’t find (except for dachshunds but I am a bit biased there!). Mum says people have a whole lot to answer for and I am sure she is right.

If you are wondering why Louise chose the name Rocco it was the name of a noble spirited and gentle Staffy man who went Over The Rainbow Bridge. Although Rocco the First had a hard time on earth and we couldn’t save him, Louise and Miss Shiva have made sure the same won’t happen to Rocco 2.

Till next time.

Love & leggies, Nutty x

 

Rocco

 Rocco the First RIP x

 

 

A Pawblem Solved – Bounder

Dear Nutty

I am a lonely and misunderstood little rabbit. Well when I say little I mean I’m big – in fact truth to tell I am HUMUNGOUS compared to my rabbit friends. No wonder I can’t get a wife. Anyway that is not the reason I’m writing, well not the only reason.

You see Nutty, none of my rabbit friends seem to enjoy bounding across the fields like I do. I mean they do run a bit but it is more of a scurry and they have no stamina either. Me, I can bound for miles and miles with my super long back legs but when I start to do this all my friends tail off and leave me to run all by myself. Nutty please give me some words of wisdom for I am one lonely Bounder.

Yours in solitude

Bounder

 

Dear Bounder

Worry not for the solution is staring you straight in the face or should that be in the back leggys. For you see dear Bounder you are not a rabbit at all – you are a hare. Hares are much larger, have longer legs and are made for bounding across fields and living in the wild. No wonder your rabbit friends cannot keep up!

Bounder you are not a bad rabbit you are an excellent hare so hare on out there and find yourself a Mrs Hare and have a wonderful life with many little Bounders running at your tail.

I expect an invite to the wedding (“)(“)

Till next time.

Love & leggies, Nutty x

 

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Apropos of nothing – a wee sossige

Pictures from My Holiday

Hi Anipals – we had a wonderful time in the Lake District, quite possibly the most DOG FRIENDLY place in the UK. Although the weather wasn’t brilliant (Mum had to buy woolly hats and gloves in Windermere – and I got a new TOAT – gads) we managed to get out and about and enjoyed it all the same.

Hope you enjoy my pics.

Till next time.

Love & leggies, Nutty x

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Me, Mum and horses (too shy too look at camera methinks, the horses that is not us)

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Me and Dad wondering which way to go (no surprise there)

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The long and winding road…

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Come on Mum and Dad!

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New TOAT – grr – although to be fair it was raining

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My displeasure continues

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Driving everyone crazy with cute

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PLEEEEEEZE

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Thanks Dad!

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FREEDOM!

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A bit of paw raising with Mum

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Me and my wee stick

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Me and my big stick

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Daffodil inspection

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Further investigation required

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Thanks Cumbria!

I Scream, You Scream…

We anipals enjoy the simple things in life; the sun on our fur, a gentle summer breeze, the scent of the first daffodil – and ice cream. 

Take me for example, I do enjoy an ice cream. I love to let my long tongue wrap itself around the deliciously cold confection and sssslurp right into the mouth and down the throat quick as you like sir. I have found it best to make this move particularly quickly before Mum or Dad decide I’ve had enough and tries to take the ice cream away. This of course can never happen. I am much too fast.

Anipals like me who are ice cream aficionados will appreciate the difficulty we have is not in retaining the ice cream once we have sniffed it out – but how to encourage our humans to relinquish the ice cream they think is theirs into our waiting little jaws. Our dear bipeds sometimes get confused and think this ice cold treat is for them… well it is but not exclusively you understand.

If you are experiencing this difficulty yourself dear furry friends, especially with the summer coming in and ice cream delights being extra enticing I have discovered the best way to get Dad to relinquish his ice cream to for me is to persuade him that it is his idea.

Picture this: Dad strolls out of the ice cream shop with a lovely vanilla cone in his hands (vanilla is my favourite, anyone who is interested) and the wise anipal will immediately look cute but without obviously eyeing the cone.

This is a difficult exercise to master initially but with practice the petite ice cream snatcher can easily wind around Dad’s legs (our feline brothers have got it spot on here and this move is perfect for us long-bodied anipals). For added effect try cutely pawing at his ankle whilst at the same time throw out some knock-em-dead puppy dog eyes. When performed correctly this simple combination of moves is utterly delightful to passers-by who will, with a bit of luck, draw attention to our efforts thus inspiring Dad to bend down and…. sssslurp another ice cream bites the dust.

Larger anipals can sit obediently in front of Dad offering a paw with an endearing wag of the tail and a clever nose-to-hand move until the desired result is achieved.

Super-size anipals and sturdy stalwarts such as the Bulldog, Staffie and Rottie have the additional advantage of planting themselves squarely in front of Dad until the ice cream treat is forthcoming.

Till next time.

Love & leggies, Nutty x

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Happy BARKDAY to Me!

Hi Anipals

Today 14 April is my BARKDAY and I am 2 years old. I am so lucky to have a family who love me very much and just to prove I have the very bestest Mum & Dad in the world here is some BARKDAY pictures of me and my presents.

 

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BARKDAY greetings made out of bones – can it get any better?

 

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Presents!

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Opening presents!

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Opening more presents!

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and again…

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   New Duck Squeak  Can’t believe Mum knitted him a TOAT 

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    Me and NDQ having a sooky

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Dad teasing me with New Pink Squeak

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I get NPS

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Playing with NPS

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Time for bed!

Till next time.

 

Love & leggies, Nutty x